We are on a floating rock in space

I feel so weird these days I can’t seem to put my finger on it. I feel as if I’m at the precipice of something magnanimous. At the edge of acceptance and forgiveness. I have accepted that I didn’t get the love I deserved and yet, I persevered and survived. I have made it to the top of the first emotional mountain on my path to recovery. I am still working on the forgiveness part. Life is hard. Being a human is hard. It’s easy to feel like you have it all figured out, because often from your own perspective, you ‘do’, but reality is there are as many perspectives on earth as there are humans, rocks, animals, plants, and everything else that makes up the vastness of the earth and our universe.

We are on a floating rock in space. I keep coming back to this phrase. It is the most empowering way I can zoom out and see the larger picture. It has helped me not feel the deep sense of guilt for choosing myself now. In the past I got bogged down with what everyone else wanted and trying to be agreeable. Libra rising… anyone?

We are all trying to do our best to make the most of the years we are gifted on Earth. We all get so caught up in the minutiae of the day to day. Not realizing that the larger picture here is spiritual growth through the human experience. We are here to explore the depths of human emotions through the duality of this plane. To live is to attend thousands of deaths of yourself and those you love. Reborn every morning. Given a new chance to make new choices and start fresh. Moment by moment we can affect great change on ourself and the world. Choose love. Choose to wake up with a kindness in your heart for the human experience. Understand the difficult decisions and the heavy fog that makes most humans forget their innate oneness with all. We are all one consciousness. Yet we are so pathologically divided by our ever sickening society. Increasingly divided.

We are fighting an invisible war. The war of the unconscious and conscious. I’d argue that most humans are unconscious, at least from my limited perspective as an American. I’d venture to say that in other countries they are somewhat more aware and conscious. There seems to be much less individualism in other nations to get in the way of collective consciousness and awareness. I think America is filled with people who are sleepwalking. Sleepwalking their way through life, thinking they are the only people who’s opinions matter. Not understanding we are deeply connected to each other and the earth. We all are victim to this mindset at times in our lives. The important part is to divorce yourself from this mindset as often as you notice it arising.

Release yourself from the past. Release yourself from the conditioning. Release yourself from the societal expectations. They aren’t helping you. They are hindering your ever evolving path of growth. We are here to learn lessons. Here to inspire others to live from love always.

Learning to live from love doesn’t mean you just accept any sort of treatment, and I think that’s where a lot of us get lost. It’s easy to assume that living from love is about accepting everyone as they are, and it is, but also it is not. You are allowed to have boundaries and not accept poor treatment of yourself. You are allowed to create space from those who continuously hurt you with seemingly no remorse. You aren’t beholden to any one on this plane. Not family, not friends, not anyone. You choose the people you surround yourself with, it shouldn’t just be a flippant choice or something that you think has been decided for you through fate. Life is too short to be surrounded by people who make you feel like shit. It’s hard to get out of the societal conditioning that “family is everything” or “blood is thicker than water” - Which is already a misappropriated quote. “The actual saying is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. The meaning of this saying is actually the opposite of the way we use it. The saying actually means that bonds that you’ve made by choice are more important than the people that you are bound to by the water of the womb. The saying reflects the fact that the bonds you choose for yourself can mean much more than the ones you don’t have much say in.”

This exact realization is something that I had the pleasure of experiencing during my most recent mushroom experience. I feel so grateful for my partner in life. He has shown me how important and extremely special a chosen love is. He is someone who has no obligation to love me other than his personal choice, and vice versa. We love each other because in this vast fucked up world, we found each other and got started building a life together. We chose each other and continue to choose each other day after day. A life filled with love, respect, laughter, and a bond that is more special than any forced bond of family could hope to be. Especially considering my personal experience which is, that family disappoints you the most and loves you the least. I won’t ever accept or give love that’s part of an obligation. I don’t want to give or receive love from a place of obligation. It doesn’t sit right with me. I will love freely and from the truest expression of my being.

The forcing of familial bonding through societal expectation is something that contributes to and keeps us stuck in these generational trauma patterns. Thinking we have to accept the bare minimum of decency from people, who arguably should love and respect you more than the average soul they come across. Yet those closest to us and those we feel most obligated to interact with are usually the humans that hurt us most deeply. To love is to allow someone the power to hurt you immensely and to trust that they wouldn’t break your heart like that.

It’s a hard lesson to learn and an even harder one to master, but you can’t keep living to please other people. It doesn’t matter what your family thinks about who you become. You are supposed to grow and change and evolve. We are all supposed to be the next best iteration of our bloodline. So many of us get caught up in the idea that we are supposed to abide by all the rules and that they are predetermined. If that were the case, society and humanity wouldn’t ever progress. We are all here to rock the metaphorical boat in one way or another. Don’t be afraid to make the waves of change you came here to share with the world. It’s how we will grow in consciousness. We are the vessels through which positive change can expand the possibilities of what it means to be a soul having an experience as a human being on Earth.